ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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