They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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