I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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