he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
