Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
