If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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