After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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