So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
