I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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