I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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