i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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