I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize