Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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