gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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