I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
