you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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