were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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