apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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