There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
