Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize