Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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