But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I understand Curling. That high.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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