I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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