shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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