Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
