duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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