Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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