Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
