He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
