so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
