I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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