He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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