I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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