I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
