The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
