I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
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she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize