You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
