i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
4 words: hood of his car
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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