Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
