Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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