If i come over, it means nothing
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
