Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
