I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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