you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
