I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
