I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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