my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
