i permit you to call me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
