I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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