Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize