Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize