I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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