I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize