oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
