It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
