she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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