S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
