in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
