This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
