The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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