He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I want to be your penis for a week.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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